One of my attempts at rhyming?

So here we are, just us, My Saint,

In our own unique sins, dirty as hell,

And the darkest of loves that threatens to taint,

The world we閳ユ獫e loved and known so well.

I should back away, but you閳ユ獧e warm in my arms,

I had almost forgotten how warm you are.

Your soft, strong arms still shield me from harm,

Your liquid brown eyes still lure me with stars.

Those knitted arms fit closely round mine,

Not a jigsaw piece of us out of place,

The scent of your smokiness tickles divine,

In your Jewish hair I can bury my face.

And when you have gone, I feel you still,

In the dust and the calm, cool air,

Like a coloured mist from a coloured pill,

Like Pompeii, in a world stripped bare.

Any comments are really appreciated, thanks. x

One of my attempts at rhyming?

Good effort but in your second verse you are not rhyming.

and you should try not to repeat words.

arms and harm don't rhyme, are and stars don't try arm and harm and are and star.

also he's warm in your arms, then you are in his arms. which is it, try

I should back away, but in your arms I'm warm

etc.

One of my attempts at rhyming?

ok...it sucks! sorry =(

One of my attempts at rhyming?

6 outta 10

One of my attempts at rhyming?

This is not a question. Try again. Maybe a local open mic.